Gloomy Sunday
by Tantalize
Summary: Edward's thoughts after Rosalie told him Bella had jumped off a cliff. Songfic. One shot.


**Gloomy Sunday**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or the song Gloomy Sunday. I am simply a crazed fan who is bored out of her mind and likes writing.**

**Note: This takes place after New Moons' extra, Rosalie's News. Edward is deciding to commit suicide.**

Edward's POV:

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She was gone. Gone forever. And there was no way I could get her back. I couldn't believe it. She jumped. She jumped off a cliff, because of _me_. She was gone. She was gone. She was gone. My, my, Bella, beautiful Bella, was dead.

I couldn't believe it. It was like the thought was floating in the air, and I couldn't quit reach out and grab it. Bella couldn't be dead. I left her to protect her! Why had she done that? Why hadn't she listened to me, like she promised? Why did she have to die? The word 'dead' fumbled around in my head. She shouldn't be dead- she was so full of life. She couldn't be dead. Why didn't she have to die? She was gone. She was gone.

_Sunday is Gloomy,_

_My hours are slumberless,_

_Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless_

_Little white flowers will never awaken you_

I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned my head back. It was all my fault. It was all my fault. She was gone. It was all my fault. She promised. She promised. She promised. Why her? Why Bella? I couldn't live with her! I couldn't live this, this, _existence_ without her. Couldn't she of seen that? I couldn't live without her.

_Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you_

_Angels have no thought of ever returning you_

_Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?_

_Gloomy Sunday_

The Volturi seemed to cloud my mind.

I couldn't live without her. I couldn't live in a world without my Bella. My Bella. As much as I loved my family, as much as I loved my _parents_, and my_ sisters,_ and _brothers_, I couldn't live without her. I couldn't live without Bella. She was gone. She was gone.

I closed my eyes only to see her, her beautiful face, looking at me. Why her? Why was she gone? I thought of my family again, but only for a second. They would understand. They would have to. I couldn't imagine one of them living without the other. They would understand.

She was gone. She was gone. She was gone. She was gone. She was gone. She was gone.

_Sunday is gloomy_

_with shadows I spend it all_

_My heart and I have decided to end it all_

_Soon there'll be flowers and prayers that are sad,_

_I know, let them not weep,_

_Let them know that I'm glad to go_

Her face was glowing in my mind. She would understand why I had to do this. I couldn't live without her. I couldn't live without Bella. Pain was beating the hole where my heart used to be; it felt like it was being ripped out further. The pain was pulling me under, I couldn't breathe; I was being suffocated by it. It was going to kill me anyways.

_Death is no dream,_

_For in death I'm caressing you_

_With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you_

_Gloomy Sunday_

I made it to the airport in record time. And before I knew it I was buying a ticket to Italy. She would understand. She would know why I had to do this.

"First plane to Italy," I said, the man nodded, handing me my ticket as I glanced at the clock, an hour till the plane took off.

"No luggage?"

"No," I answered, glancing again at the clock, the man raised an eyebrow.

"Have a good flight, sir," I turned to leave, as the man's thoughts' seeped into my head, _I hope you find whomever you seem looking for._

I smiled to myself. I could only hope I would find her too. But I doubted it; my angel wouldn't be in hell.

_Dreaming_

_I was only dreaming_

_I wake and I find you_

_Asleep in the deep of_

_My heart_

_Dear_

As I plane took off my thoughts stayed on Bella. She would understand. She would understand. My family would understand. It was my fault. I couldn't take it; I couldn't live without Bella. Bella. Maybe in hell I could still see her beautiful face?

She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.

_Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you_

_My heart is telling you how much I wanted you_

_Gloomy Sunday_

She was gone. And with any luck, I was going to find her.

End.

A/N: I'm still trying to write sad. I heard this song a few days ago, and I kept thinking 'Edward'. So finally, I decided to write this.

I guess it turned out well, I haven't lost anyone close to me for a while, so it wasn't very easy to write, but I think I did pretty well. Anyway- I would love to hear what you have to say, even if it's bad. So remember to review.

Yours truly,

Alice


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